Home » Uncategorized » You Can’t Get There From Here*

You Can’t Get There From Here*

…but, I did.

So, I used to be primarily attracted to women, not men.  And now I’m attracted to men, and have married one.  How did that happen?  Through the work of Jesus in my life – all at once, yet experienced over a long time.  Countless little choices, incidents, occasions – words read, tears shed, conversations with people, prayer, counsel, risks taken, times of worship and relaxation, fun and play…

I’d like to attempt to relay some of those experiences.  I’ll call them “elements of change.”  I hope that some may find something that they may relate to, that might spur on deeper thought or encouragement to take action to follow where the Lord might be leading you.


*“You can’t get there from here.” – learn more about this phrase at Urban Dictionary:


2 thoughts on “You Can’t Get There From Here*

  1. Hello! I’ve just noticed your blog today. It’s interesting, but I’m having trouble following some of it.

    I have the impression that you’ve been married to a man for a long time, but that for many years before that you (unlike most of the lesbians I’ve personally known) actually had some negative ideas about men in general that made you uncomfortable around them: for example, the quote “I mean I can see a difference in your life – you’re more comfortable around men.”?

    And that before that, you were sexually attracted to both men and women: “Primarily attracted to women” you say – not attracted only to women, but preferred women because of your misunderstandings about men? So you were/are bi-sexual? But you use the term “homosexual” which to me means feeling no sexual interest in or attraction to the opposite sex, and for me that doesn’t match with the word “primarily.” Also, you speak of “fluid” sexual attractions, which is indeed a recognized kind of sexuality, but certainly not the same as homosexual or hetereosexual, and probably different from bi-sexual as well.

    When you were just a young child, you were told that it was wrong to be attracted to other women (though I’m not getting how a young child could even know what that means): “I’ve struggled with lesbianism since kindergarten.”

    And you think that people who are satisfied being gay/lesbian are not Christians? You said of gay/lesbian people who find same-sex partners: “some people will choose to walk away in a different direction. (There were those who did that to Jesus in person, how much more so when we’re following a God we cannot see?) Yet some people will choose to walk in much the same direction I’ve been heading.”

    And now you’re writing about all that. Thank you so much for letting me ask about what’s confusing to me. I realize you may be writing mostly to friends and acquaintances who already fully grasp what you’re saying, and in that case, please just ignore me. But if you’re writing for a wider audience, maybe you’d be willing to clear up some of these references I’m asking about?

  2. Hey there,
    Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog – I’ve just started it this week, so you’ll have to forgive the lack of more information on it. I’m a newbie!

    Most of what is on this blog so far was written to friends and acquaintances, all on Facebook. Although not all of them would fully grasp what I’m saying, they have known me for a while or could just ask me questions personally if they wanted to. This blog is going out to a wider audience, and it’s fine for you to ask me for more clarification.

    I really appreciate how you’ve asked – you’ve written out what you were thinking, quoting where you got those ideas from in what I wrote, and your tone comes across as honest and respectful. Thanks for going out of your way to do that.

    As for the answers to your questions, I’m going to ask for your patience with most of those. The main reason is because I’ve a few pages here on my computer where I’ve outlined a number of posts, and some of those answers will be contained in what is to come. I started this blog because, at least at the moment, I’m rather jazzed about sitting down and taking the time to write! Dictionary and thesaurus at one hand, a stack of other books at the other, a keyboard with an almost unlimited amount of reference material at my fingertips (although I searched for a movie clip earlier today and couldn’t find it…bummer.) As it gets cooler out, a cup of tea… Dissecting out the answers you’re looking for would interrupt the flow of what I’m trying to do at this point.

    Not that I fancy myself a great writer, it’s just been a long time since I’ve been in this frame of mind. Way back in the days when AOL was king and dial-up broadband was the way to get online, I wrote a ton on message boards. I’m not sure if people would even remember those – it was like an online bulletin board – you would post a message of up to say, 500 words, under a topic heading. You couldn’t go back to change anything, so you tried to make your post as clear and well edited as possible. You couldn’t post pictures or get other contact info through that format. I loved the challenge of finding the right way to get your meaning across in writing, and learning from others who were doing the same.

    I will make one clarification right off, though. I’ve not been married for very long. I’m not sure how I might have left the impression that I’ve been married for a long while. Reading that part of your comment reminded me of the time when I ran into a woman who had seen a bunch of those AOL message board posts. When she first met me in person she said that she’d been under the impression that I was a “big old fat dyke.” And I was a small, young, skinny girl at the time – not sure if I had my short haircut then or not. I have wondered since how it was possible for someone to leave the impression that they were fat or skinny using only the written word. Maybe if I’d used more words with tall letters: “fill, thrill, chill…” I might have come across as someone thin. Anyway, that cracked me up.

    Again, thanks for reading, and I appreciate your patience. (Of course if you don’t have time to drag through all my posts, I totally understand…no hard feelings on my part.)

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